Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The glass is not half empty.

So yesterday JR got the scores for his TEXES Math 8-12 grade. Needless to say, he did not pass and to make matters worse, he only failed by one point. I know, that stinks. But on the good side, you only failed by one point. That means the next time you take this bad boy you will pass it with flying colors. But my husband doesn't look at things that way.

He was not raised in a traditional family and he doesn't know how to act in a family way. He called me and told me first, he is sorry for wasting my money (not my money, our money) and he was sorry for wasting my time (again anything you do to better our family is not a waste of time). I told that everything was going to be okay and I was proud of him. He asked, how can you be proud of a failure? And I said you are not failure, you haven't been is a Math class in years and you were so close to passing. I guess I always look at things differently.

I did not pass my PPR 8-12 test the first two times I took it, and I was fresh out of school. When I failed, I studied hard and took it again. I told JR this, but it did not matter. He failed.

Well, here is the news. I told my husband you have a day to feel sorry for yourself and then that is it. You will sign up for the next test date. But, you have a choice this time. You can either take the same test again or take the Math 4-8 TEXES. He doesn't know yet, but he is going to take one of the test.

So, keep your fingers crossed and hope for good things for my husband. Things will be okay, and he will pass. I am big on positive confessions, if you can't tell.

Well, I love you all and I hope to see you guys at Thanksgiving. Only six more work days until a five day break. Thank you Jesus.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Walking Pneumonia

So for the past two weeks I have taken care of Lexi, Zoe, and JR. They all got diagnosed with Flu type A or Swine Flu and I have been super Mom and Wife taking care of all. Well, during Sickness 2009 my house has gone down the drain. I figure this weekend (Halloween weekend) I would clean the house and get things back in order. Well 4:00 am on Thursday night I started having allergies attack which lead to a Upper Respiratory Infection. I called the doctor and they said to take over the counter medication and get plenty of rest. So I did, but things seem to get worse. It moved into my chest and I could not stop coughing and hurting. My chest, back, and sides hurt and I felt like my lungs were squeezing tight. I could not breath well.

Well, I went to the doctor this morning and he diagnosed me with Walking Pneumonia, Yeah!!! Can you hear the excitement in my voice? I know you can. Anyway, the house is still a mess there is two weeks worth of laundry and I have no energy to do anything. JR is trying, he is taking care of the girls and all but it is of course not the way I would clean and what not. I hate being sick and I especially hate being tired. I have been tired since school started and it just doesn't seem to get better. I hate to sound down, but I am so tired or being tired. And now I have a medical reason to be sick.

The good news is that JR and the girls are better and I am thankful for that. Well, I am off to be a teacher, that is right I am still teaching and not resting. Can't afford to take anymore days off. And my principal would have a heart attach if anymore teachers left. This has been one of the worst seasons for illness, I swear. Well, I love you all and I will catch you later. Maybe one week in the future we will all be well enough to visit. Who knows?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sweet JR

So on Friday I came home and low and behold there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the table. It was a mixture of colors and flowers. It was amazing. I looked at JR and asked him, "What are these for?" He looked at me and said, "It is October 16th Sarah."

I was floored. He remember that Friday was the 12th anniversary of my father's death. He said that he felt like I needed them, to let me know that he loves me and is thinking about me on that day. I was so happy and sad at the same time.

Sad - because I miss my dad.
Happy - because I have such a sweet man, who thinks of me and supports me.

It is so refreshing to have someone who thinks about you and cares about you. I did not have that much in my first marriage, but I can already tell this relationship will be different and better.

On a sadder note; poor Frank, my mom's pug, died last night. He was a good dog and he will be missed. I really feel upset for my mom because I know she liked coming home to him and his happiness. I always felt a little bit better knowing that my mom had someone to come home to. I hope she will be okay and I hope her sadness goes away with time. I still have not told my girls yet, I am not looking forward to that. I know they will both be heartbroken. So, Mom I am thinking of you and hoping your week goes better.
Frank, you were a good, lighthearted, poop eating, snorting, smelly pug. :-)

Friday, October 9, 2009

No Way

So on Wednesday I had a parent teacher conference about Zoe. Don't worry, it is normal to have one the first six weeks. We get there and she begins to talk about Zoe. She did well on motor skills, messed up a few time on language, and she is a good girl. Then the but part of the meeting happened.

Zoe can only count to 11. What!!! I know for a fact my daughter can count to at least 30, if not more. She can say her ABC but she doesn't recognize the letters, oh and she only recognizes the number 1. She also doesn't know placement. IE put the block in front of the house, above the house, and so on. Also, she has a hard time staying focused. Oh, now we are getting to the main point. Basically, her teacher said, without saying it, that Zoe needs drugs.

I looked at her as if she was crazy. She is not a discipline problem, this is her second year in her class, and she always does well with her work. So maybe, just maybe, she might be bored in your class. She did, in fact, do all of this stuff last year.

I mean, why is it, the minute a kid doesn't do the same as everyone in her class she needs to be put on drugs? Her reasoning was that Zoe is the oldest in her class and a girl, so she should be ahead of everyone. Why do the kids all have to wear the same hat? Every child is different and develops at a different stage. I am not worried about Zoe. She is smart and energetic. And I am not going to squish that in her.

I will not give her drugs, so that she can act like a little zombie and be an easier student for you to handle. No way, not going to happen. My daughter is fine. She will eventually be able to recognize her ABC and numbers and who cares if she doesn't know what above or in front of is right now.

Why don't you give me time to work with my child before you label her with a drug. Oh, and by the way, she won't ever take those drugs.

Okay, I am done ranting but I needed to get that off my chest. I love you all and I hope your weeks are going well.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Me, me, me

So lately I have been worried about many things. My jobs, my children, my sanity, and life in general. I came to a very interesting conclusion; I need to stop worrying. The things I need to concentrate on our me. I never worry about me. Now I know that sounds selfish and let me explain. I am not only going to worry about myself, but I am only going to worry about the things I can control that deal with myself. For instance, I am going to worry about my new husband. This next year is a learning year. Learning about each other, pros and cons, and learning to love each other deeper. That is important, especially since this summer coming up I would like to get pregnant. I think it is important for me to know my husband before I add a new life to the mix.

Also, I am going to worry about mixing my family. It is already working out pretty well. I still get frustrated, but mainly my frustration comes from an outside source. So, I need to relish the fact that my girls get along and my husband loves my daughter very much. And of course, she loves him. In fact today on the way to school, she told me that we didn't have a Daddy but now we do and he loves us. I couldn't of said it better. She is so right. So I am going to concentrate on me. Since I have come to that conclusion I have felt better. Work will still be stressful and so will the outside influence but I can deal with it as long as my core it strong. And that is what I am doing, making my core strong. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in fixing the outer side of the world that we forget the strongest part of our world, the center. So that is what I am doing. I know I will slip and fall, I constantly worry about things I can't fix but I am going to try.

School is still crazy and working two jobs is hard but I know that with love, prayers, and blessings sent this way things will be better. Soccer season is almost over and that will help. Only four more weeks. And once I get my gradebook working at school that will make things better too, but again that is out of my control. I hope this post finds you well and I miss you. Christmas break here I come, soon. :-)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Well I didn't plan on writing anything today, but my school is on lock down so I have a little time. (We are on lock down for drug testing.)

This Saturday I got married to a wonderful man. The wedding was sweet and simply.




We went to the local JP and he performed a beautiful ceremony. JR messed up a few times during the ceremony (ie instead of saying abiding love he said inviting love) but it was sweet. JR also danced and swayed the whole time. I was so nervous I felt like I was shaking. Lexi and Zoe held our rings and gave them to us when the time was right. They were so cute and they were also so good. Not a peep from them and they stayed perfectly still. Such good girls!! JR also could not get my ring to go on, so I had to help him. His ring, of course, went on smoothly. :-) I guess the best part of the ceremony was the Judge keep saying Ralph (JR first name) and I keep thinking; Who the heck is Ralph? I also heard Nicole snicker once or twice.

I was upset before the wedding started. The JP was twenty minutes late and I was so close to crying it wasn't even funny. My sister and JR both asked the police if they knew where he was and they were of course no help. It turns out he was late because of them but they could not tell us that. That would of been helpful. The JP took a few pictures and gave us a pretty picture to keep and of course Nicole and Mom took some great shots.

We then went home and changed cloths and got ready for the wedding reception. My sister and mother did an AMAZING JOB!!! It was beautiful and I could not of asked for more. The cake was delicious and beautiful and the set up was perfect. My mom's friend from work let her borrow her silver catering set, which made for a beautiful place setting. And Nicole cooked everything and everything was yummy. It was great and I was totally surprised and please. Thank you again Mom and Nicole for making a beautiful and memorable wedding reception. I love you guys so much!!!

We stayed for awhile and then went to our hotel for a short honeymoon. Thanks again Mom and Nicole for babysitting. It was a great weekend and I am such a happy woman. I also think that JR is happier as well. He seemed so relaxed and at peace since we have been married. He is so cute with the ring too. He puts it on right when he wakes up in the morning and he proudly displays it to all. I love him so much.

Well, that is about it. I wish all could of come but I understand. Thank you again Nicole and Mom and I wish Dustin and family could of been there. Thanks for your love and blessings as well.

Love to all.
Sarah Stearns

Friday, August 28, 2009

Crazy Butt Week

Okay, sorry long time no blog. I started back to work two weeks ago and life has been crazy. Getting my classroom ready, finding all of my old supplies, trying not kill new students, and so on. JR has been great, very supportive. Moving me and taking care of the small and big stuff.

Two girls and two different soccer schedule, working a forty hour a week job plus teaching three college classes (dual, online, and at the Vernon campus), trying to move, and oh yeah trying to be a mother and soon to be wife. If you can't tell, I am a little bit tired.

On a different note, it looks like I might get a care in the next few days. It is a four door, Chevy Malibu 2001. I really hope that this deal goes through because I could use something better and more reliable. Please pray or send out good thoughts.

JR and I will get married on September 5th by the JP, but we will have a ceremony celebrating our love with family and friends in March. It just feels right to get married on this day but I don't want to take away the magic of a wedding from JR. He says he does not care, but I know that is a lie. I am nervous and scared but I know this is were I am suppose to be. I love him so much and he is the sweetest man I know. He loves me and takes care of me and Zoe so well. I could not ask for more.

Well, I am off to spend some time with Zoe. She wants me to watch a movie with her and be with her. She has told me quite often this week she does not like me working again. She never ever gets to see me. So I am off to be a Mommy.

I love you all and I wish you a great weekend.

Friday, August 7, 2009

I'm Engaged

So here is how it happened. JR and I went to Abilene to pick up Zoe and to also have a short five day vacation with family. Things went crazy that weekend, that is for another blog, but overall it was a great vacation.

On August 4th, we went to the Abilene Zoo. It was a cool 100 degrees and the kids were in a great mood. (I'm hot, I'm thirsty, I'm tired) But we ventured on, because after all who doesn't like the Zoo. :-)

Well, we got in front of the Black Rhino area and JR stopped me, the kids and Nicole went on, in fact I think I heard my sister yell at Jack to come when he called me. JR grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes.

He said: Sarah, in front of the same place that where your Dad asked your Mom I want you to be my everything. (Getting down on one knee and tears welling in my eyes) Sarah will you marry me?

And of course I said YES!!!! And we kissed and he picked me up in a big hug. It was awesome and it made me so happy. At that point, Nicole and all the kids started cheering because they of course knew. Everyone knew but me. He did a good job and I could not of asked for a better way for him to ask.

The back story to him asking me in front of the Rhinos, is that that used to be the Elephant Area. My father, almost forty years ago, asked my Mother to marry him in front of the Elephants and JR knew that. Isn't that perfect!

We don't have a date yet but I will let you know as soon as we have decided something. I really am happy and very much in love. JR is a blessing to my life.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Okay so here it is 3:00 am and I am wide awake. You ask Why? I really don't know. I have laid in bed for over an hour and just kind of layed there. I couldn't fall asleep.

Could it be that I am worried about Zoe with her father?
Could it be that I am worried about being a good step-mom to Lexi?
Could it be that I am worried that JR will never ask me to marry him?
Could it be that I still don't have any friends in Wichita Falls?
Could it be that I don't like staying home and not working?
Could it be that I don't know what to do with myself?
And on top of it all, I am angry at myself for questioning these things and not just relaxing and letting life happen?

My friend Jay tells me all the time re-effing-lax. He says I am one of the most tense people he knows and that I need to relax and let life happen.

Zoe will always have to go with her father.
I will eventually find my stride with Lexi and we will be fine.
JR loves me with all his heart and is going to ask. (I hope :-))
I will make new friends.
Work will start in a few weeks and I will bitch about not having any free time.
And I will figure myself out as time goes by.
And I need to stop being so angry.

I hate feeling out of control and that is my main problem. I have no control over certain things right now and it is so hard to deal with that. ARGHHHHHH!!!!

Life is not bad, in fact it is good...I just want better and that makes me feel guilty.

I know, I know...re-effing-lax. Sigh...why can't I?

Well, I guess I will lay down again and try to go to sleep. Love to all and I hope you are relaxing.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


So last night I spent a good hour counting freckles on the girls. Of course they only have three apiece but they wanted me to keep counting because Momma has a lot and they only have three, :-(. We had to look at every bump, bruise and spot on them just to make sure. Also, I told them that they are Angel kisses and of course who doesn't want to have Angel kisses on their body? Little kids are so funny sometimes. They made me smile a lot last night.

I spending as much time as I can with the girls right now. Lexi and Zoe are about to start school and so am I (teaching that is). I swear when school is going on, I barely have enough time for them, JR, or even myself. This summer has gone by so fast and I really don't feel like I have spent enough time with either of them. And I am about to leave again on Wednesday to take Zoe back to her Dad for another two weeks. It just stinks and I miss my girl so much. Oh well, I guess that is part of being a divorced parent.

Well, I gotta go swimming again. I know you are jealous. I love all and I hope I get some more readers soon.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Hello everyone:

I just started my blog today because my sister made me. And, if you know my sister you know that I am telling the truth. I am really excited and I am going to try and be a good blogger. I won't promise everyday but hopefully every week. I love everyone reading this (unless you are some weird0) and I hope that everyone is having a great summer so far.

Best to all,